dating question woman

Online Dating Questions to Ask Before Meeting. Now there is a rapid development of social networks and very often the first acquaintances occur right here. In the virtual world, everything happens very quickly: registration on the site, searching for a partner, a playful letter for an acquaintance, chat. And now you almost fall in love with such a pleasant and interesting in all respects interlocutor. Dating websites are characterized by a colorful and understandable design. You can add photos, write thoughts also certain statuses on your personal pages and. All this allows you to quickly make friends and start an interesting conversation. It is important to build this conversation as correctly as possible since it is very easy to be considered a boring person. Psychologists say that almost 70% of information about a person we get non-verbal, that is, without the use of words. But we can’t feel the smell, look in the eyes and many other things on the Internet. But in real life, this is what excites our excitement and desire. For this reason, we should know how to build a conversation with a girl at least via Internet so that to turn it into real meetings one day. Even if you have a great attraction to each other, some likes and dislikes can quickly separate you. In order to have a successful relationship, you must have the same life principles and approach to the future should also be identical. Getting closer by asking questions, you will learn about each other a lot of useful information. Game of questions is quite interesting entertainment. It will help get to know any person, as they say, from the inside. This is a great way to start a conversation with a girl and a good opportunity to reveal an old friend from an unexpected side. After playing this game, you will feel that you literally read this person and have known him or her for a hundred years. Here we collected questions to ask a girl in online dating when you are at the stage of getting to know each other. They will help understand each other better. Some of them may seem frivolous, but in the depth of these questions, you will be able to verify compatibility with a partner. When your “friend” answers these questions for you, pay attention to how you perceive these answers. Would you like a partner with such traits to be near you? Questions to ask before meeting someone in person. This is one of the online dating questions to ask her in the very beginning of your virtual communication. This question may tell a lot about her value system, however, as well as whether it coincides with yours. For example, a girl who is grateful for healthy parents and true friends and a girl for whom the most valuable thing is buying a new car can be perceived in different ways, right?

This question may clarify for you the type of girl and who she really is: a careerist or an eternal student? Does she want a big and friendly family or dreams of a free careless life? And these are the key things that are important to know from the very beginning of a relationship. A very good reason to start a conversation with a girl is the question of the time she goes to bed. This is quite an urgent topic for many young people because there are not enough hours in the day for everything, so they have to sacrifice sleep. In this case, instead of resting, a person, as a rule, is engaged in something that is very interesting – she hangs in night cubes, prepares for exams, and so on. This question will help you understand who this girl is – an early riser or an owl, a clubber and a lover of sleep. Ask such a question, but give it under the “smart” sauce, so that it doesn’t look banal. Tell her that you completely lost your free time because of study, work, the angry boss, and now you can’t orientate from which side you need to start making up for lost time. Let her advise you some films – it will also be useful in order to learn her better. And if a girl likes you as well, then probably she will not just tell you about the latest film premieres, but also will accept the invitation to watch something in the cinema. Agree that this is a very good development of events. Maybe she is fond of something special: a bicycle, skiing, diving or traveling. Memorize all the details. At time first time, you can better explore this topic (her hobby) and talk about it again the next day. She will be very pleased to talk about what is important to her and she will appreciate that you support her hobby. Who are they and what do they do? Who is her best friend? How she met her best friend?

How do friends treat her?

This is the really important thing to know before any meeting. Here you learn a lot about a girl. Not for nothing they say “tell me who your friend is and I’ll tell you who you are.” After all, money plays a significant role in all vital areas. If you treat money in different ways, it will be difficult for a family life. Find out how much time she plans to give to work and how much to the family. Try to imagine what will be the behavior of your woman if hard times come. And ask her an important question “What will she do if she suddenly wins a million dollars”. This question will tell a lot about your chosen one and about her financial culture. Sometimes we learn about the disadvantages of each other after weeks, months, and even years. But there are couples who were fortunate enough to learn about the imperfection of the chosen ones on the first day of their acquaintance. And this is the best option!

The earlier you learn advantages and accept disadvantages in the nature and appearance of a girl you like, the higher your chances of avoiding disappointment. Try to understand the most exciting moments. Do your thoughts on monogamy, behavior at parties, flirting, and business trips coincide? If you know what causes jealousy in each of you, you will be more delicate in the future. Of course, you don’t need to quarrel on purpose. But it is worth watching the reaction of a partner when your opinions don’t match. Asking such online dating questions, you will avoid serious quarrels on different occasions if you agree on the “rules of conflict”. The book The Five Love Languages gives useful advice. The list has 5 options for reporting-accepting love: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. Mark them by their importance and pay more attention to the primary and secondary “language” of each other. And how do you see your future? Are your “pictures” similar? Do your desires coincide? Play one great game: take a piece of paper and draw everything that you would like to embody together. Games and quests bring together and help develop relationships. The trick is to ask her about the past so that it doesn’t look too suspicious. Having learned in which family and in what environment she grew up, you may begin to understand approximately what to expect from her in a romantic relationship. Bear in mind that a rough childhood usually affects the future of a person. This question is not only an excuse for talking about the craziest travels in both her and your life. With its help, you can understand whether she is ready for family life. The level of riskiness of each of you should coincide at least a little. Otherwise, it will be extremely difficult to agree on and build a strong union. If a girl easily gives up and always looks for something, it’s too early to fall in love with her. Let a girl dream. Who doesn’t like to surrender to the power of dreams and imagine oneself the richest person, a rock star, or someone else?

This is a wonderful way for the development of a heated and long discussion. Also, there many other options, such as: “In which country would you like to go?”, “What do you want to do there?”, “What is the most important for the world?” Such questions perfectly reveal people because there is nothing more intimate than our most absurd dreams. After that, you will definitely become closer!

Yes, this is not one of the right questions to ask in online dating and you should be extremely careful asking the questions like this. But if you don’t have serious plans for this girl, then you can immediately go to the main thing. Ask her what sex positions she likes. In any case, the conversation will already be intriguing and such a frank conversation will allow you to continue to talk on any topic without embarrassment. So, you should identify the most important points (goals, values, and preferences of your new friend) and compare them with yours. This is perhaps the best way to get closer to a woman you like and, of course, to learn some interesting moments from her life. However, the main thing here is not to go too far with questions, considering the stage of a relationship that you are currently on because you can just scare off a girl. If your and her main goals diverge, it is better to start looking for another woman. If you become an obstacle in the way of a woman to her cherished goal, then your relationship will be doomed from the very beginning. The same applies to your goals. And if your views on life are similar and you look in one direction, then a successful life together is entirely possible. Dating Questions Women Ask You and How to Answer! Women are extremely smart in the dating world. They tend to have a set of dating questions they'll ask every man they begin seeing. That's why you MUST know what these questions are — and the motivations behind them IF you not only want to succeed with women, but also not fall victim to their personal agendas. Most women know what benefits they want from men. That's why they have these standard questions they ask men as soon as they get the chance. These dating questions allow a woman to save time by getting the information about you she needs quickly. . for the purpose of these questions is to figure out whether you can give a woman the benefits she's looking for — and which specific ones. Because you're aware of what they're really doing, you give yourself the power to define the dynamic of your relationship rather than letting her do it — which is what happens if you don't recognize where these question are coming from and how to deal with them. Though being aware of the specific dating questions can definitely help you identify what a woman's priorities may be, it isn't nearly as important as understanding the intentions beneath them. The Intentions Women Conceal from Men. External benefits are things like material possessions or opportunities that save women time and effort, which give them feelings ranging from security to luxury. While internal benefits are things like adventure and challenge, which give them feelings from excitement to pleasure. So the reason women ask you these dating questions, really, is to discover within moments whether you're a provider or a lover. That way, she knows how to frame you in her life. and also what the best approach to seducing is. A Poor Provider or a Lavish Lover?

So if you answer a woman's dating questions directly, you're communicating that you're a provider from the beginning of a possible future relationship — which means a woman will conceal her true intentions from you in order to leverage you and get the benefits through you. But if you refuse to answer these first date questions, because you now understand the intentions underneath them, you communicate you're a lover. Then women stay with you for the internal benefits you offer them, which not only means it's for who you are as a person — rather than for being a means to an end, like a provider — it's for the relationship itself. Now that you have the understanding required to identify and see the true intentions underneath them, here are the questions themselves. Finally, What Are These First Date Questions? Whenever a woman asks you any kind of PERSONAL question, especially when it doesn't seem to fit in the conversation, get a little suspicious about it. Question her motive: "Why would she ask me that? What does she REALLY want to know about me?" Generally, women want to know how much money you make and your dating history because these are the 2 major clues to revealing the benefits you can offer her. Guys who brag about their jobs or money, though they may think they're impressing a woman, are really making themselves an open target for manipulation. How long has it been since you had a girlfriend?

What's your relationship like with [another woman's name]? Are you seeing anyone else?

(Another bold question on a first date.) Guys who talk about their past relationships reveal their views on women and their approach to relationships, which tells a woman EXACTLY how to seduce him into giving her the benefits she wants on her terms. So the key to answering all of these questions is to use any of the various methods I discuss in my Get Quality Women! Dating Program. But a simple one that works well with most of these dating questions women ask is. Dating Questions for Successful Relationships. Dating questions can be used for a variety of purposes. One of the most valuable is to use questions to determine the character of the person you’re dating. In addition, they can be used to learn about compatibility in specific areas. They can be used to increase intimacy and romance. They can be used to enhance dating experiences. They can be used to improve your relationship. And they can be used during remote communications like dating site chats, emails, texts, calls, and more. There is little for you to gain by telling your date everything about yourself. Much more can be gained by being a good questioner, listener, and observer. To get the most benefit, do not split your attention between what they are saying and what you are thinking. You’ll miss too much. There will be plenty of time for evaluation later. Actually, your subconscious mind will do the evaluation and give you an answer via your intuition, or gut feelings. To learn about how to use your intuition, read this article, Intuition – How to Access, Recognize, & Trust It. Human resource professionals use strategic questions to get people to talk about themselves in a way where they unwittingly reveal key aspects of their character. Questions like these, used in a date setting, can also be revealing as well as lead to stimulating conversation. You can keep them from sounding like interview questions by presenting them playfully in a game-like way. Also, talk about the dating questions with the understanding that you will answer each of them yourself. Here are 80 dating questions to… Where did you grow up? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Where did you go to high school?

Where did you go to college? What was your major in college?

What are your favorite sports?

What sort of work do you do?

Which three (3) famous people do you admire most? Which three (3) famous people do you NOT respect?

Which three (3) famous people do you think are most like you? Which three (3) famous people would you most want to be like? Which three (3) famous people do you most NOT want to be like? What personal values and principles are the most important to you?

What friendship values and principles are the most important to you? What marriage values and principles are the most important to you? What community values and principles are the most important to you?

What world values and principles are the most important to you?

Using single words or phrases, how would you describe yourself? Where do you see yourself in five (5) years to 10 years? What are your favorite websites? What are your favorite television shows?

What are your favorite movies? What kinds of music do you like?

Who are your favorite bands?

Who are your favorite singers? What kind of magazines do you read? What type of books do you read?

What is your favorite food? What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite snack?

What is your favorite way to spend an evening during your workweek?

What is your favorite way to spend an evening during your days off from work?

What are your favorite ways to spend a vacation?

Is participation in family gatherings and celebrations important to you? What are your spiritual beliefs and how do you practice them?

Do you look at the nutritional information on food labels as you shop?

Do you take vitamin supplements?

What kind of exercise or sports activity do you like to do? Are you a member of a gym or health club?

Or do you have equipment at home?

Do you look at price tags when you shop? Or do you just get what you want and not worry about the price or getting a deal? Note: The goal of this question is to determine if they are frugal or spendthrifts. This issue breaks up more couples than any other. If you could afford any car, which one would you buy? Note: The goal of this question is to confirm whether they are truly frugal or spendthrifts. The answer to this question also indicates their position on energy efficiency and environmental issues. How would you describe the perfect house including the decor, furnishings, appliances, and landscaping? Note: The answers to this question indicate their position on interior design, money management, energy efficiency, and environmental issues. Is punctuality important to you or are you usually a little late?

Do you like everything to be well planned and organized or are you more casual? Do set short and long-term goals for yourself?

What is the formula for good communication in a romantic relationship? What do you see as the best way for a couple to resolve conflicts?

How would you describe your needs for affection in a relationship? How would you describe your needs for sex in a relationship? What is your greatest achievement? What is your greatest disappointment?

What is your best attribute? What is your worst attribute? If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What is your greatest passion? What do you enjoy doing the most?

What are your top three (3) most important dreams?

Would you create a list of 10 things that best describes me using single words or phrases, if I do the same for you? Note: It is recommended that you give yourselves several days to work on the list before you meet to exchange or present them. This will give you time to come up with a meaningful list and develop some tantalizing anticipation!

Both steps provide a great opportunity for you to learn about yourself and the person you’re dating. What are your favorite songs for love and romance?

What are your favorite men’s/women’s colognes/perfumes for love and romance? What are your favorite scents for love and romance?

Note: This would include scents from a fireplace, incense, scented candles, and pheromones. Pheromones are natural chemical scents the body produces to attract others. What are your favorite foods for love and romance? What are your favorite places for love and romance? Note: This would include places such as a particular beach, lake, park, restaurant, nightclub, hotel, mountain cabin, or room within your home. Would you describe your perfect love affair from the beginning to making a commitment to each other, if I do the same?

Would you describe your perfect romantic evening, if I do the same?

Note: It is recommended that you write this description and then exchange, read, or talk about it during your next date. Be sure to give yourselves several days so that you can come up with a thorough description. This activity will give you insights into your romantic future and the secrets to pleasing them. What are the top three (3) places you would like to go together?

What are the top three (3) famous places you would like to see together? What are the top three (3) amusement parks you would like to enjoy together?

What are the top three (3) concerts, plays, or musicals you would like to see together?

What annual community events would you like to attend together? What annual family events would you like to attend together? Would you come up with three (3) usual ways we could spend a day or an evening together if I do the same? Note: It is recommended that you give yourselves several days to work on this project before you meet to present your ideas. This will give you time to come up with some creative and fun activities. Are there any projects or activities we can do together?

Suggestions: Attend a dance class, self-improvement seminar, or college course. Join a community service organization, sports club, gym, or religious group. Build a greenhouse, birdhouse, or doghouse. Plant a vegetable garden, flower garden, or rock garden. Do you have any concerns that you would like to discuss with me?

Do you have any questions that you would like to ask me?

Are there any needs that you have that I am not fulfilling? Are there any passions that you have that I have not fully recognized? Are there any areas where you need my support?

Are there any issues about you that I do not fully understand?

Are there any relationship skills that I might consider improving?

Are there any other areas of my life that I might consider improving?

Write down the dating questions that have particular meaning for you. Allow the dating questions you’ve selected to arise in your mind naturally during the course of your dating conversations. If you are going to ask a series of questions, present the idea of doing so in a playful game-like way. Tell them that you will answer these or any other questions they may have. Use these dating questions to learn about the person you’re seeing, predict the likelihood of a successful relationship, improve your dating experiences, and refine your relationship. The 10 Dating Questions Every Woman Should Ask on the First Hang, According to a Relationship Coach. “Hello there, New Person. Please fill out this three-page suitability spreadsheet, and I’ll let you know if I'm free for a second date.” Ah. If only. But how can you low-key figure out if a person is right for you from the get-go? We asked relationship coach Jocelyn Johnson for guidance on what questions to ask—and behaviors to look for in—your maybe-lover. In early dating, there are four things you want to figure out about the person. According to Johnson, these are “Values, interests/lifestyle, level of integrity/commitment and how they manage conflict/hardship.” Here’s how to find out all this info with ten easy dating questions. 1. What sort of relationship are you interested in? Ask it straight out, Johnson suggests. Right from the beginning, you’re going to avoid the hurt feelings and misunderstandings if one of you is looking for a casual hook-up and someone else wants marriage material. 2. What are the ideal qualities you want in a partner? After they answer this, ask a few more questions about a couple of the qualities—like did they ever have that in a relationship before. And note if they listed both superficial and substantial qualities. For example, a great smile and a kind spirit might be answers, but notice how the second quality is super vague. “‘What does a kind spirit mean exactly?’ could be a good follow up,” instructs Johnson. 3. What's a typical work week look like?

And what about a typical Saturday?

4. What's your family like? 5. What was a challenging time recently and how did you handle it?

Johnson says that listening for your date’s account of how they did or did not have a support system and their narrative of resilience is going to give you a window into their personality. 6. So, I was just listening to a news story about [insert controversial news topic here]. What're your feelings about that situation?

“Ask at least one comfort-zone-breaking question,” Johnson suggested. “This is a chance to see if this person will be radically honest with you and stay true to him- or herself versus saying what they think you want to hear.” Additionally, it’s a way to see if you are both share similar levels of political and popular culture engagement. 7. When was your last relationship?

And why did it end?

“Remember that there are three sides to every story, so listen closely—does the person pass blame or take responsibility equally?” Johnson said. “Was it an amicable split? If not, how did they handle the ending? Their answer tells you a lot to how they will handle conflict with you.” 8. What was your longest relationship? What made it last so long? Why did that one end? 9. How often did you and your prior partner hang out/spend time apart?

10. Now, observe, then ask yourself—Does your date “walk the walk” with these behaviors?

• Are they present and attentive?

“Is this person looking around?

Distracted? Not fully listening to you when you speak?” Johnson asks. “Do they cut in to talk about himself/herself on a related or unrelated point?

Does s/he ask follow up questions?

Inquire deeper?

Show genuine interest/curiosity to understand you?” • Do they show up and follow through?

It sounds basic, but Johnson says this is a basic barometer of integrity. Do they do what they say they will?

If they say they’re going to check up on how your job interview or deadline went, well, did they?

• Do they display general acts of thoughtfulness, compassion and kindness?

“Does he open the door, how does she greet others?” Johnson asks. “In the movie A Bronx Tale, the main character Calogero gets advice from a father-like figure, Sonny, who tells him to watch if the girl he takes out reaches over to unlock the door for him. Sonny says this is the way to tell if she’s thoughtful and not selfish.” Fun, Sweet, Naughty, and Witty Dating Questions to Ask a Girl. Wondering how to get the date started? Here are some interesting questions to ask a girl to get to know her more, and create good opportunities to improve on the conversation. Wondering how to get the date started? Here are some interesting questions to ask a girl to get to know her more, and create good opportunities to improve on the conversation. Did You Know?

That men know they are falling in love much sooner than women do. On an average, while men start falling in love around date number 4, women take almost 4 times as long (that’s date 16!) to fall in love!

The purpose of dating is to get to know someone better. And so it follows that you have to ask someone questions about themselves, to get the conversation going, as well as to get them talking. It is really important that you ask the right questions at the right time, since inappropriately timed questions can hamper your chances of winning another date. Would you like to write for us?

Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word. Get in touch with us and we'll talk. Listed below are some questions that get you going, but it is up to you to figure out the right time to ask them. The trick is to discover the other person slowly, to keep the interest sustained. So avoid making the first date a marathon question and answer session! Instead, spread them out over a few dates, starting off with the really casual questions on the first date, and then making them more personal or intimate. Try to keep the questions to a reasonable amount, say maybe 5 to 6 questions per date. What you have to realize is that asking questions is not the only way to get to know someone. Starting random conversations and getting the other person to open up is a skill, which you will have to acquire, or polish!

In the meantime, here is something to get you started… Interesting Dating Questions. – Do you believe in making compromises for a relationship/marriage, and to what extent? – Do you believe in God and Ghosts? – Do you believe in soulmates? – What are the 5 things you can’t live without?

– What’s your biggest fear, and your biggest strength? – Name 5 people you cannot do without? – Which is the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen?

– Do you believe in love at first sight? – Are you scared of opening up to people?

If so, why? – What qualities would you look for in your partner? – Does your first love still hold a special place in your heart? Who was the lucky guy and are you still in touch with him? – Do you forgive easily or forget easily or both?

– If you get to be someone else for a day, who would you want to be?

– How many children do you want to have, and when do you want to have them?

– If you had to choose to live with someone who truly loves you, but you don’t love him back, or to live alone for the rest of your life loving someone who doesn’t love you, who would you choose?

– If you could time travel, which era/year would you want to go to? Why? – What, according to you, are the three most important things in a relationship? – How do you spend your weekends/days off? – Do you like animals?

– What are your hobbies? – Would you like to change your surname after marriage or stick to your maiden name?

– What genres do you prefer in – movies, music and books? – Which are some of your favorite books, songs, and movies? – Which is your favorite cuisine/restaurant? – Which was your best vacation to date? – Do you have siblings? Are you close to them? – Who knows all your secrets – mom or dad?

– Do you have a wish list? Can you share some of the things on it with me? – Would you bungee jump/get a tattoo on a dare/whim?

– If you had a million dollars, what would you do with the money?

– If your partner wants to do something you don’t particularly like/enjoy, would you do it with him?

– Are you open to experimentation in the bedroom?

– What are your future plans? – What’s your idea of fun? – An ideal evening would be spent alone or with friends?

– Which, according to you, is the most romantic musical instrument/language?

– Which was the best date you have been on?

– Arrange according to preference – sun, sand, snow?

– Do you like going to the theater or for concerts? – Which is your favorite sport?

Do you follow it or play it?

– What are your thoughts about marriage and religion?

– Do you like to travel? Would you like to write for us?

Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word. Get in touch with us and we'll talk. – Is there any goal/dream you have which you think cannot be fulfilled now because it’s too late?

– Which is the one place you would like to visit/settle in? – Have you done something special for someone without their knowledge?

– Have you/would you drop everything at a moment’s notice if someone you cared about needed your help?

– Can you tell me about an incident in your life that is close to your heart?

– What turns you on?

– What are your main inspirations in life? – What do you do to cheer yourself up if you have had a bad day?

– What’s the one thing you have done that you regret? – Are you a morning person or a night person?

– What are your ambitions and pet peeves? – If you could be in a movie, which one would you want to be in, as which character, and why?

– Tell me one thing that you have done/accomplished, that makes you proud of yourself?

– What’s the best free advice you have been given? – Which was the best/most stimulating conversation you have ever had? Whom did you have it with and what was it about?

– What is your wildest fantasy and who is in it? – Which is the cutest/funniest/sweetest/weirdest compliment you have received?

– Would you expect forgiveness if you cheated on your partner?

Would you forgive your partner if he cheated on you? There you go! Some questions are meant to know whether you are compatible, some are meant to make her laugh, some are questions to ask a girl on a first date and some are meant to convey subtle signs of vested interests! These questions need to be asked at the right time judging the mood of the moment. Go on and get to know the girl. She may just turn out to be the one! How To Ask A Woman Out On A Dating App: A Guide For Men. Hello and congratulations! I hear you have come across a dating profile that you enjoy. This is, of course, the first step to any online dating interaction. Maybe you like her photos, maybe she said something that made you laugh in her bio, maybe you were lucky enough to find a combination of the two! Either way, you are probably wondering, “What do I do next?

These women, these mythical creatures, they are just so complicated! How ever will I move forward?” Now while you coul d easily have already done such things as “Listen to your female friends” or “Observe women on Twitter talk about dating and be thankful for the free and plentiful advice,” we won’t dwell on the past, dear reader. We will pretend you haven’t chosen to willfully ignore all information that has been presented to you in the past, and we will instead look to the future…a future that hopefully ends with you and this wonderful profile you see before you, deep in love. Step 1: The Opening Message. If you are on a non-matching site like OKCupid or PlentyOfFish, you have more of a profile to work with and make conversation from, but you also run more of a risk that she will not respond as she has not already signified interest via swiping. Please don’t take this personally; however, please don’t see this as a reason to make no effort either. If you are on Bumble, you unfortunately have to wait for her to message you first. When she does, you might want to try this crazy idea called “responding.” It’s really that simple. Respond. See what happens. If you are on Tinder, you are free to make the first move if you want. Now here is where things start to get tricky…I’m going to need you to resist all urges to just say “hey” or “how are you.” I know that every fiber of your being is willing you to write the most generic and boring message possibly known to man, but reader, please resist! Your brain might be telling you, “She will be unable to resist the charms of this ‘hey,’ this is surely the move,” but allow me to act as your heart and your conscious and tell you this is an awful idea. You can say almost anything else. Ask a question about one of her photos, make a witty comment about something in her bio, please just do SOMETHING to stand out from the crowd. Step 2: Don’t Suck At Conversation. Reader, do you enjoy job interviews? Do you enjoy being peppered with boring questions that you feel you have answered a million times before? I am assuming the answer is most likely no. So, I implore you, please do not inflict this pain on women. There are any number of ways to make good conversation, and I can’t possibly list them all as they are so situational. But here are some good starting points: Ask about where one of her photos was taken if she is clearly traveling and when she responds, follow it up with a story about your own travels Ask about something in her profile, and when she responds, follow it up with a story about you or someone you know that relates to what she is saying Ask about her job, but more than just what she does, ask why she does it, how she got into it, what she likes and dislikes about it and if she doesn’t ask you some of these questions in return, she probably isn’t all that interested When something she says reminds you of a television show or movie, ask her if she has seen it. If she says yes, discuss. If she says no, describe the show and why you like it and recommend it. Ask about any pets in her photo but only if you have something interesting to follow that up with such as “I volunteer with an animal shelter in my free time.” If all you have is, “Cool, I love dogs” then just skip this line of questioning. Are you sensing a pattern, reader?

A conversation should flow. It should be two people sharing information and asking each other questions. If you are asking a million questions and not sharing anything about yourself, you are boring her. If she isn’t asking you any questions or is responding with very short answers, she probably isn’t interested…that may be because she is just not interested, but it may be because you aren’t doing a good job at making conversation. Try a new technique, but if she continues to not give much, then just move on. How are you?

How was your day?

How was your week?

Where do you work?

(you sound like a stalker) What do you like to do with your free time?

(there are other ways to gather this information without asking this question) Have you had any success on here?

Have you gone on any dates from here?

Do you like this app? Have you ever hooked up with anyone from here?

Why are you single? Step 2a Through Infinity: Don’t Send a Dick Pic. Now, reader, I know that you, as a man, may not be able to understand why a woman would not want to gaze upon your penis at any possible opportunity. I know you may be enjoying a conversation with a lady and think to yourself, “I bet I know what she wants…and that is an unsolicited photo of my junk.” I understand that as she tells you some of her favorite TV shows and movies, you may interpret that to mean, “But I would rather look at a photo of your dick than the television.” I empathize with the fact that as she is telling you what she does for a living, what you might be hearing is “But what I WISH I could do for a living is look at photos of your penis all day long.” Reader, I am here to tell you, that these interpretations are not accurate. Please do not ever send a woman a dick pic. The only instance in which you may consider sending a woman a photo of your dick is if she says the exact words, “I would like you to send me a photo of your dick.” Even then, you might want to pause and consider the context of this situation. Was there a build-up to this request? Did it come out of nowhere? Can this person be trusted or might they be doing this to post on Twitter or to laugh with their friends? I know this may be news to you, reader, but you are not legally required to send a photo of your penis, even if it is requested; that said, a request is the only acceptable circumstance to ever send one. I know as she is sending you photos of her dog, or her breakfast, or a cute selfie she took this morning, you may feel compelled to reciprocate with a photo of YOUR favorite thing, but please, reader, try your best to refrain. Step 2b Through Infinity: Don’t Insult Her. At some point in your conversation, this woman might go awhile without responding. Or, she might say something you don’t agree with or don’t like. Or, she might just politely tell you she is just not interested and wish you the best. I know that in these moments, your natural reaction might be, “Say something mean, that will win her over.” I understand that if you don’t hear from a woman for 24 hours on a dating app, you might think, “If I call her fat, that will get her talking to me, and then she will surely go on a date with me!” If she tells you she isn’t interested and wishes you the best, you may think the only logical step is to tell her that you were actually never interested in her and were only messaging her to be nice — the way that people in movies quit a job after they’ve already been fired. Again, reader, I am sorry, but I must tell you that your natural instincts are leading you wrong in this case. When you find something mean about to flow through your fingers, onto your keyboard, and into the dating app abyss, I urge you, to instead just…not do that. Say nothing. Or even try saying something nice. I know that calling a woman fat or ugly or any number of other insults might seem like the most logical way to get a date, but a woman’s mind is like a labyrinth; I do not expect your simple male brain to be able to navigate the convoluted twists and turns of what makes a woman tick. That is why I am here, to help you understand that a woman is probably not going to want to date you after you call her ugly. I know it seems counterintuitive, but just trust me on this. Here we are. The crucial step. You have been talking. The conversation has been flowing and both parties have contributed to it equally. You have resisted all urges to send photos of your penis and to be mean. You are ready to ask her on a date. Now, I will admit, every woman is different in terms of the amount of time she likes to message before going out on a date, and the type of date she likes to go on. Some woman want dinner, some just want coffee or a drink. Some woman hate going to the movies for a first date. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to this step but there are general guidelines. However you are going to ask, actually ask!

Don’t do things you think are cute or coy such as “How would I go about asking a beautiful woman such as yourself out on a date?” I know you think that is very charming, but it’s not. Just ask. If she mentioned that she can’t live without coffee, ask her to coffee. If she mentions that she loves whisky, invite her to a whisky bar. If she said she likes trying new cuisines, invite her to a restaurant that serves original food. If you don’t know enough information about her to suggest a good date, your conversation thus far has probably not been that great and you should probably find out more before asking. Women can respond to being asked out in a variety of ways. Some might apologize and say they are not interested. Refer to step 2b here and avoid all urge to say something rude. You might feel like you wasted your time getting to this point only to be turned down for a date, but the reality is, sometimes this is the nature of online dating. Wish her the best of luck in her search, and move forward. Some might say they are enjoying your conversation thus far, but they need to message a little longer in order to feel comfortable meeting. Now, reader, I know that when you hear this, your first instinct may be to erupt in a fit of rage, and demand this woman tell you why she is even on a dating app if the intention isn’t to meet up. You, as the problem-solving man you are, might try to come up with some solutions to her worries such as “We can meet in a public place,” “We can FaceTime so you know I’m real.” You might want to give this woman a run-down of your resume, pointing out that men who do your specific job would never harm women. And while these may seem like excellent ideas, they are not. If you are really interested in this woman, the only logical response is to say, “Okay, I understand, I’m enjoying this conversation and would love to meet in person sometime but I don’t want to pressure you so please let me know whenever you are feeling comfortable and ready” and then continue to message her and make good conversation for awhile. No one wants to get into a cycle of endless messaging, so at some point if she never says she is okay meeting, it is okay to back off. But if you’re really interested and have been messaging consistently, my advice would be to give it at least a week or two before giving up. Every woman is different here, but the key is, respect that women have real safety concerns. Some women might say yes, they’d love to go on a date with you. Now, I know this next part might seem like it should go without saying, but unfortunately it needs to be said — actually plan the date. People these days are very busy, it might be another week or even more before you can meet up. But actually suggest dates. If a woman says she’d like to go out with you, you might feel like the appropriate response is “Okay great!” Reader, this is not how you make plans. If she says she is interested, capitalize on said interest. Make the plans. Do the damn thing. Conclusions. Congratulations, reader! You have set up a date with a woman!

By following these steps of things-that-shouldn’t-have-to-even-be-said-but-apparently-do-actually-have-to-be-said, you are one step closer to finding the woman of your dreams. On the morning of the date, text to follow up!

“Just wanted to make sure we are still on for [time] at [place], looking forward to meeting you!” Now, I will admit, a million things could still go wrong. She could ghost. The date could be boring. Making it to the date stage is just the first step, but it’s unfortunately a step that doesn’t happen often enough. Hopefully you will enjoy the first date and she will be willing to go on a second. But regardless of whether or not this is the case, please continuously refer back to rule 2a, and do not send her a picture of your dick. MenAskEm. MenAskEm. If a girl doesn’t bother to fill out her online dating profile, it could mean one of two things: 2) She’s so hot that she doesn’t need to write a profile. She gets messages from guys constantly, just because she’s attractive. She doesn’t need to do anything and she’s still got the pick of the litter. But odds are in favor of (1) or (2). That’s why smart guys don’t spend the majority of their time messaging girls whose inboxes are flooded or who don’t care about online dating. Your efforts are better spent making genuine connections by messaging girls whose profiles prove you’d be a good fit for each other. Increase your odds of getting a reply with this 3-step strategy: 1) Ignore the Superficial. In a cold call situation, most guys fail on both accounts. They lack the creativity to come up with anything interesting to say, and go with general openers or comment on a girl’s looks only: “How’s your night going?” or " Gorgeous photos.I'd like to know more about u…." You’ll make a better first impression – and increase your odds of a reply – if you ignore her appearance and “how are you?” platitudes. Make a real attempt to get a real conversation started right off the bat. 2) Scour Her Profile for Conversation Topics. Take a quick inventory of what you DO have to work with. Most guys will ignore the tiny bits of information that a bare bones profile provides – but any kernel of information can be gold! Even a mostly empty profile on OkCupid could tell you a girl’s city, at minimum. If you’re lucky, maybe she also filled out the Basic Info section with her diet, job, or if she has pets. NOTE: try to avoid using Basic Info like religion, income, and drinking/drug habits. Those can be controversial or super personal, and might make her hesitate to reply. Specific info in her pictures can also be fair game – as long as your message focuses on a unique detail that not everyone could note as special. For example, maybe she's wearing an old Weezer t-shirt. Maybe she's at Platform 9 3/4. Those are great to comment on; not everyone is into those things. Meanwhile, tons of guys could write, "Hey, I love the beach, too." Your first message's goal is to start a conversation on a subject that sets you apart from other guys. 3) Ask Her A Question. Use that little gold nugget you found and ask her a question about it that inquires about her thoughts, opinions, or feelings. Since the only goal is to come up with a question that asks for her opinion, let this take the pressure off crafting the “perfect” first message. There are lots of things to ask when you know a simple fact about a person and don’t care about saying something “perfect.” Just brainstorm for 30 seconds and go with it!

Your first message could ask any of the following: “Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. Ever considered going full vegan? I thought about it, but I’d miss cheese too much :) What would you miss?” Then, don’t stress out beyond that. Knowing she might be a girl from category (1) or (2), just give it a quick shot and move on. Conclusion. It’s frustrating to try to message girls whose online dating profiles provide nothing to go on. While it’s a better use of your time to focus on girls whose profiles prove you’ve got lots in common, a cold call every now and then can be worth it. Increase your chances of getting a reply with a first message that stays away from superficial topics. Instead, pick out any bit of info that her profile does share and quickly write a question about it that asks for her thoughts or opinions. With your interest in her thoughts (not her looks) and your ability to start a conversation out of nothing – you just might succeed where other men have failed!

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