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Courtship and Dating Practices in Islamic Societies. How do Muslims go about choosing a spouse? "Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims. Young Islamic men and women (or boys and girls) do not enter into one-on-one intimate relationships, spending time alone together and "getting to know one another" in a very deep way as a precursor to selecting a marital partner. Rather, in Islamic culture, pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex are forbidden. The Islamic Perspective. Islam believes the choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life—with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement. How Do Potential Spouses Meet?

First of all, Muslim youth develop very close friendships with their same-sex peers. This "sisterhood" or "brotherhood" that develops when Muslims are young continues throughout their lives and serves as a network, a way to become familiar with other families. When a young person decides to get married, the following steps often take place: The young person makes du'a—a personal supplication—for Allah to help him or her find the right person. The family enquires, discusses, and suggests candidates from among the network of people that they know. They consult with each other to narrow down potential prospects. Usually, the father or mother approaches the other family to suggest a meeting. If the young couple and their families agree, the couple meets in a chaperoned group environment. Umar, a senior companion of Muhammad and a powerful caliph, related that the Prophet Muhammad said, "Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram)." The Prophet also reportedly said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them." When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a considered a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an (24:30-31) to "lower their gaze and guard their modesty… " Islam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weaknesses, so this rule provides safeguards for our own sake. If the couple seems compatible, the families may investigate further—talking with friends, family, Islamic leaders, co-workers, etc. to learn about the character of the potential spouse. Before making a final decision, the couple prays salat-l-istikhara (a prayer for guidance) to seek Allah's help and guidance. The couple agrees to pursue marriage or decides to part ways. Unlike some cultural practices in which marriages are strictly arranged, Islam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women—they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don't want. This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage by drawing upon family elders' wisdom and guidance in this important life decision. Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why these marriages often prove very successful in the long-term. How Young Muslims Define 'Halal Dating' For Themselves. Young Muslims find a middle ground for fostering romantic relationships between what is permissible and what is forbidden. Fahmida Azim for NPR hide caption. When 18-year-old Nermeen Ileiwat first began college, she could not wait to get into a relationship — maybe even get engaged before graduation. But after one year, the rising sophomore realized she had no idea what she wanted out of life and was in no position to get into a relationship. That decision didn't last long. Only a few months after, Ileiwat met someone at a party, and their friendship quickly turned into something more. However, dating was not that simple for the now 21-year-olds who are Muslim. They have religious restrictions that limit physical contact in premarital relationships. They chose to focus more on developing their emotional intimacy, with the occasional hug or kiss. Out of respect for their religious beliefs, Ileiwat and her boyfriend decided not to engage in any advanced sexual activity until they're married. For young couples like them, the idea of dating is common, and it means balancing their religious views with their desire for emotional intimacy. But the term "dating" still invites an offensive suggestion for many Muslims, especially older ones, irrespective of how innocent the relationship may be. Dating is still linked to its Western origins, which implies underlying expectations of sexual interactions — if not an outright premarital sexual relationship — which Islamic texts prohibit. Ismail Menk, a renowned Islamic scholar, argues in one of his lectures that love, within boundaries and with expectations of marriage, is an accepted fact of life and religion — if done the right way. This "right way," he says, is by involving the families from an early stage. Before the rise of a Western cultural influence, finding a spouse was a task almost solely assigned to parents or relatives. But young Muslims have now taken it upon themselves to find their partners, relying on their own version of dating to do so. Older Muslims continue to reject dating because they worry that a Western world will also create Western expectations of premarital sex in these relationships. Code Switch. Meet Mozzified, A Site For Ramadan Recipes, Sharia Memes And Nosy-Auntie Jokes. Adam Hodges, a former sociolinguistics professor at Carnegie Mellon University in Qatar, argues there is an added layer of culture and context to the term "dating" that is often overlooked. "We use language to give meaning to the world around us. So the way that we label events or phenomena, such as dating, is definitely going to provide a certain perspective on what that means for us," he says. Therefore, taking on the dating vernacular to describe their relationship and labeling their significant other as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" does put some couples at risk of falling into the physical expectations that come with dating, Hodges says. But, he adds, these fears can be allayed because "the most important connotation that is borrowed is the ability to choose your own mate," which is also the main precept of dating in the West. One way that some young Muslim couples are rebutting the idea of dating being offensive is by terming it "halal dating." Halal refers to something permissible within Islam. By adding the permissibility factor, some young couples argue, they are removing the idea that anything haram, or prohibited, such as premarital sex, is happening in the relationship. On the other hand, some young couples believe there should be no stigma attached to dating and, therefore, reject the idea of calling it halal. "My justification is that we are dating with the intention of one day being married and, I guess, that's what makes it OK," Ileiwat says. Khalil Jessa, founder of Salaam Swipe, a dating app that caters to young Muslims, also believes that the negative associations attached to dating depend on the particular society. "This conception that dating necessarily implies physical touching is an assumption that people are making. When they take the word dating, they're adding this connotation to it, and I don't think that's necessarily the case. It's up to each individual and each couple to choose how they wish to interact with one another," Jessa argues. Getting to know someone and making the informed decision to marry them is not an alien concept in Islamic societies. Abdullah Al-Arian, a history professor at Georgetown University School of Foreign Service in Qatar, says that the idea of courtship has been present in Muslim societies for centuries but was subdued in colonial times. When the British and the rest of Europe colonized much of the world, they also placed social restrictions on sexual interactions between unmarried couples, Arian says. These social restrictions also took hold in certain Islamic societies, with religious restrictions on sex leading some to go as far as segregating the genders as much as possible, including in schools, universities and even at social gatherings. These practices began to disintegrate as women started entering the workforce, demanding their rights for universal education and pursuing higher education, Arian says. Segregating because of religious dogma became harder. And so, as the genders mixed, dating relationships also took root in some societies. This, he says, further facilitated the imitation of Western relationships. Changing ideas about modernity, widespread urbanization and the West's cultural hegemony influenced something as intimate and personal as relationships, Arian says. But the most influential factor is globalization. "We've seen the full impact of globalization. in pop culture, in particular. Western cultural productions: music, film, television shows," he says. These "shared experiences," as he calls them, have given birth to third-culture kids. These multicultural generations are growing up with a "very different moral compass that is rooted in a number of influences; and not just the local, but the global as well," Arian says. Before social media and the prevalence of pop culture, it was a lot easier to enforce whatever ideologies you wanted your child to follow. But as globalization increased, this changed. Young people became increasingly exposed to the rest of the world. Today, their ideologies and values no longer find a basis in what their priest or imam preaches but in what social media and pop culture influencers might be saying and doing. Dating apps and websites that cater to young Muslims looking for meaningful long-term relationships are easy to find. Muzmatch, a dating app launched two years ago, has 135,000 people signed up. Other apps, like Salaam Swipe and Minder, report high success rates for young Muslims who previously had a hard time finding a partner. Code Switch. Startups Cater To Muslim Millennials With Dating Apps And Vegan Halal Soap. These apps allow people to filter their searches based on level of religiosity, the kind of relationship they're looking for and other aspects such as whether the woman wears a headscarf and the man sports a beard. While the men behind these apps launched them with the hope of giving young Muslims a positive platform to interact on, they say there are still many in their societies that oppose the idea of young couples interacting. Haroon Mokhtarzada, founder of Minder, says that a lot of this disapproval stems more from the fear of people in their communities gossiping than it does from the actual interaction the couples have. "There's this general concern that people are going to talk. So I don't think it's the parents who are worried for themselves because they don't want their daughter talking to a guy or whatever, as much as it's them worrying about their family name and people talking and becoming part of a gossip mill," he says. To combat this, Shahzad Younas, founder of Muzmatch, incorporated various privacy settings within the app, allowing people to hide their pictures until the match gets more serious and even allowing a guardian to have access to the chat to ensure it remains halal. Like many Muslim women, Ileiwat has chosen not to wear the hijab, but that has not saved her from glares and stares if she's out in public with her boyfriend. Because of the prohibition on premarital sex, older Muslims often frown upon any visible interaction between unmarried young people, no matter how innocent. This can sometimes lead to assumptions that two individuals of the opposite sex who are just hanging out have an inappropriate premarital relationship. "I think a lot of older people are under the assumption that all premarital communication between the opposite gender equates sex. Which is ridiculous, but it makes for a juicy story," Ileiwat says, adding that even some of her younger married friends are subject to the gossip mill. But the fear of gossip and the older generation's fear of sexual relations between young men and women have made the concept of dating more intriguing for younger Muslims. Using the word dating to describe relationships has resulted in a schism between older and younger generations. Hodges says children pick up the popular vernacular from peers, leading to a barrier between what children say and how parents understand it. Because of this miscommunication, many couples instead use words like "togetherness" and "an understanding" as synonyms when talking to their parents about their relationships. Hodges refers to this gap as "that ocean between England and America," where words might be the same, but the way they are perceived is vastly different. Mia, a 20-year-old Ethiopian-American college student who has shied away from having sex with her boyfriend of almost a year, can attest to this. "The idea of dating, to my mom, is basically haram. I like to use the word 'talking' or 'getting to know.' A lot of people in the Muslim community don't like to use words like 'girlfriend,' 'boyfriend,' or 'dating.' They prefer to use things like 'understanding,' or 'growing together,' " she says. But words, especially those borrowed from other places, soon take on the cultural contexts in which they are used. "Dating" has only recently seeped into young Muslims' everyday vernacular, so it may be a while before it takes on the local contexts within which it is used. "If people realize that dating is simply a normal thing that has been around for centuries everywhere, that you don't need to learn it from movies, then people start to see it as something independent of physical [acts]. Physical relations are simply a choice," says Taimur Ali, a senior at Georgetown University's Qatar campus. The current generation "really wants to have the [dating] experience without having the full extent of the experience," Arian says. But perhaps, he suggests, young Muslims need to develop something for themselves that is "more rooted in our own moral sensibilities." Muslim Dating – The Complete Guide To Dating A Muslim. Muslim dating provides a unique experience. Whether you are dating a Muslim man or dating a Muslim woman, there are some facts you want to know. This information allows you to have an enjoyable experience while you also learn about another culture. If you decide to follow your heart and date a Muslim person, then you will want to make sure you check out our list of best Muslim dating sites before you proceed. Muslim Traditions and Culture. Before getting started with Muslim dating, you want to understand the basics regarding dating traditions and culture. Just remember that all Muslim people are different. This means that they might not all abide by these traditions, but it is still good to know this information. When you are dating a Muslim man or dating a Muslim woman, you will constantly face their traditions and culture. This is a good thing, and it can open up your world. However, because culture and traditions are such big parts of Muslim people, you need to know about them to succeed with Muslim dating. Basic Information About Islam. When you are dating a Muslim woman or dating a Muslim man, you should understand Islam’s basics. This is the religion they follow, and it will come up as you continue with Muslim dating. In Arabic, Islam is a word that means “submission, peace, surrender, and commitment.” In general, by voluntarily surrendering to the divine will, one can attain complete peace. Allah is the god that those who follow Islam worship. The Quran is their holy book. Belief in the angels Belief in Allah, the only God Belief in holy books that all of the prophets received Belief in the prophets that God sent Belief in life after death and the Day of Judgment Belief in divine decree. Muslim Art. As you get into Muslim dating, you will quickly discover the importance of Muslim art. The designs are often decorative, abstract, and floral. They are unique to Islamic architecture and art. This type of art is devoid of animate. It is taboo to have portraiture. A lot of the art you see will be pieces that represent Allah. Other popular art includes Arabic calligraphy. Large courtyard Minarets Domes Central prayer halls Wall niche that shows the direction to Mecca Iwans to separate sections Fountains Arabic calligraphy Repetitive art forms Bright colors. Music. Islamic music is what is often heart. It is a type of devotional music that you can typically hear in public services. This type of music is present all over the world, including in various western countries. Other traditional music includes different forms of North Indian and Arabic classical music. However, the country someone is from can determine their musical tastes. For example, Muslim people in western countries may listen to the same music as everyone else. Muslim Habits and Traditions. When you are dating a Muslim man or dating a Muslim woman, knowing some of the basics regarding their habits and traditions is important. The following are what you want to know before you start with Muslim dating: Before eating or drinking, they pronounce God’s name For drinking and eating, they use the right hand Muslims often greet each other by saying, “Assalaam Alaikum” After sneezing, it is common to be blessed The mouth, nose, and teeth should be kept clean After defecation and urination, the related body parts should be cleaned. These are just a few habits and traditions you might see when you are dating a Muslim person. Make sure that you respect these. Talk to your partner before engaging in them yourself to prevent offending. Muslims in America. When you meet Muslim people in America, you will find that they are incredibly diverse. Some are very traditional, while others have assimilated almost completely into western culture. When you meet a Muslim person in America, never assume anything about them. Ask them about their religion, their beliefs, and their traditions. This will prevent any possible confusion as you continue getting to know each other. Muslim people are not just from the Middle East. People from all races and walks of life can follow the Islamic religion. They are present in all industries and areas of North America. The bottom line here is never to assume. Most Muslim people are happy to have a meaningful conversation with you. On the first date, however, it is best to keep the conversation more casual. Muslim Dating Rules. When it comes to Muslim dating, there are certain rules you’ll need to know for good measure. Ultimately, which rules followed depends on how traditional your partner is.The following are rules you might see when you are dating a Muslim woman or dating a Muslim man: In the most traditional of partnerships, men and women cannot spend time alone together. They must have a chaperon to help them to resist temptation. Even after getting engaged, until the couple marries, they cannot spend time alone together. It is common for traditional Muslim people to go from courtship to engagement quickly. When a strict and traditional Muslim man and woman are dating, they are not dating in the traditional sense. They are working to determine if they are compatible enough for marriage. Now, this is with the most traditional of Muslim people. If a Muslim person is on a dating website, they are likely looking to date as you are used to in the western world. This includes alone time, going out, and spending your time getting to know each other. When you are Muslim dating, one of the most important things to remember is that all Muslim people are individuals. Some of them will strictly follow Islam, while others will believe in Allah but will do so in their way. When you meet a Muslim person interested in dating, you should get to know how strict and traditional they are. This will help you to determine the dating that you can expect. You should prepare to meet your partner’s parents early when dating a Muslim woman or dating a Muslim man. Family is significant, and they want to ensure that their parents approve of you once things start to get serious. Western Muslims and Halal Dating. Muslims in western countries may not be as traditional as those brought up in eastern countries. The type of dating and relationships pursued are often referred to as Halal dating. It tends to be a more relaxed form of Muslim dating. With Halal dating and dating in the western world, Muslim people are not waiting for their parents to arrange a marriage. They are dating just like most other western people. This means joining dating websites, meeting people from work or school, and scheduling dates with various people to see who they might be compatible with. Muslims in the western world may not feel the same pressures as those in the eastern world when it comes to marriage. It is common for western Muslims to focus on their career and develop skills when they are young. They may also feel that they will eventually meet someone, so why not enjoy being single now. If you are in a western country, when you start getting involved in Muslim dating with someone local, this is likely to be your experience. You will still find culture and tradition, but they likely will not be as strict. They believe that Allah is who unites people. They meet people of the opposite gender to find a partner for marriage. The dates are in safe public places. On dates, both parties should dress modestly and appropriately. A family member can come along to help them to evaluate their date. Physical contact and flirting should be avoided. Muslims Dating Non-Muslims. Dating isn’t an alien concept even to our young-aged Muslims. Growing up, girls and boys fantasize that they will get into a relationship, especially as soon as they hit their freshman year. Muslims come with various religious restrictions when it comes to premarital relationships. It limits their physical contact with the counterpart, and Muslims are more focused on developing emotional intimacy in a premarital relationship than a physical one. They might kiss or hug occasionally, but Muslims will not be open to the idea of developing a full-blown physical relationship with the other half before marriage. Still, most Non-Muslims would want to do it. For young couples, however, the idea of dating isn’t as alien as you may think. They have a great way of balancing their religious obligations to the ones where their hearts are involved. But the fact that we call premarital relationships “dating” might trigger a lot of our elderly people since they are not willing to understand this aspect of the world of relationships doesn’t matter how innocent that relationship must be. Islam doesn’t and has never forbidden love. According to various modern scholars, being in love with marriage expectations is a common kind of relationship in the modern world. If the girl and the boy don’t cross the sanctity of their religion, then there is seriously no harm in being with one another. The same goes for dating Non-Muslims. While interfaith marriages aren’t allowed in Islam for women but if a girl has fallen in love with a man out of her faith and if he plans on turning Muslim in the future in hopes of getting married, then it is permissible. Dating a Muslim Man as a Non-Muslim. Dating a Muslim man as a Non-Muslim isn’t haram, and neither is it forbidden. As long as the individual belongs to the four faiths mentioned in the Quran, they would never face an issue regarding their faiths if they plan to get married. A Muslim man cannot spend time alone with you A Muslim man cannot marry you if you aren’t part of Kitabiyyah A Muslim cannot have a premarital sexual relationship with you. Dating a Muslim man isn’t that difficult, nor is it so easy. If you’re dating someone who is born and bred in the USA or any other foreign country for that matter, you will see how he has a completely different outlook on life as compared to men who are raised in Muslim countries. Muslims aren’t known for dating. They get to know one another in an emotional premarital affair so they can marry the potential prospect. So that is where usually a line is drawn. But when it comes to a Non-Muslim dating a Muslim man, many things vary in this aspect. For instance, it completely depends on the kind of relationship one is looking for. For a Muslim man, it won’t be entirely possible to have a physical relationship before marriage. Another thing that a Muslim man might not be able to do is to satisfy his needs and desires, even in an oral manner. It isn’t permissible in Islam to be sexually active before marriage. So if one belongs to Kitabbiyah and has emotionally connected to someone with the Islamic faith, it will be possible for her to get married to that man without changing her faith. A Muslim man is born and raised with many love and expectations, especially in the eastern countries. Dating someone who belongs to this faith from the Eastern region will mean that you will have to respect his family and love them as your own. There isn’t any obligation on you for their keep asking. Still, you will have to understand that the man you have chosen for yourself has certain responsibilities that he must fulfill. You shouldn’t keep him from doing that. Value his time and respect him if he chooses to spend some of his leisure periods with his family or by fulfilling his daily religious obligations. Don’t expect or ask him to spend on you like a responsibility. Appreciate his existence and standby him like a rock. Dating a Muslim Woman as a Non-Muslim. When it comes to dating a Muslim woman as a Non-Muslim, lines are drawn and quite restricted, ones that have no notion of being flexible. It is prohibited for a Muslim woman to have an interfaith marriage. She cannot be wed out of faith, and if she does get married, in Islamic POV, that marriage will have no religious existence. However, as far as dating goes, that is neither permissible nor forbidden. For a Non-Muslim man, if he has fallen in love with a Muslim woman and hopes to marry her someday, he will have to convert to the Islamic faith because only then will the marriage be possible from the religious perspective. Also, dating a Muslim woman means that one can connect with her on an emotional level. Still, she won’t be allowed to indulge in physical activities with her other half before marriage. Although, Muslim women raised in Western countries have a different outlook on certain aspects than the women raised in Eastern countries. They are far more liberal and open to live-in relationships as compared to the women in the east. They also might be open to the idea of getting married to a Non-Muslim man, but it won’t be permissible. It again depends completely upon the woman herself that she is willing to lose to date a Non-Muslim man how much she follows religion and the ties. For a Non-Muslim, one thing that holds the most importance is being aware that dating a Muslim woman won’t involve indulging in sexual activities. You may connect with her emotionally and spiritually. Still, the ethical and right way to have a physical relationship is after marriage. A Muslim woman, one that has been raised in the eastern countries, will be far more gender role oriented as compared to the girls raised in western countries. You will have to understand that these girls come and are raised with certain expectations of them. Though these expectations sometimes are horrendous, you cannot argue with them about it. If they want to spend time with family or do something in a certain way, give them the respect and appreciation they deserve for making that choice. You will also have to respect their privacy and not ask them to expose themselves because you love them and want to see them. This is something highly inappropriate, a deed that no Muslim woman should be made obliged to do. You will also have to respect their family and their religious obligations. Dating a Muslim During Ramadan. During Ramadan, any fasting Muslim’s major priority is to abstain from eating, drinking, smoking, or being active in sexual activity. It also includes refraining from committing sins and being true to their faith. Now, that includes abstaining from any haram relationship that they may have otherwise. During Ramadan, it must be essential for a person to maintain his/her sanctity and not come in contact with a Na-Mehram that may evoke sexual desires in them that they might not have control over. Ramadan is a time where a lot of Muslims want to better themselves for good. That includes not committing any kind of sin and developing habits that are meant to last a lifetime. But if you happen to be someone who is outside of faith and doesn’t understand why this is how it is, it can leave you feeling dejected. Here your male or female counterpart needs to educate you about their faith and how you both can grow into loving each other more. Most people refrain from talking to their boyfriends or girlfriends during the time they fast because it may cause them to arouse, which will, in turn, cause their fast to nullify. This is a significant point to keep in mind. One can engage in physical activities if married after their fast has completed before they begin the next one. For someone in a halal relationship, this would be the time to interact with their partners while making sure they don’t indulge in any offensive activities. This aspect of relationships and individual needs is a huge debate in itself. Still, as far as it is linked to dating, it isn’t permissible in any way. You will also have to respect their love for their religion and all its activities. Ramadan is also that time of the year where you get more close to your family. So if your male or female partner wants to spend more time with their families, especially at dawn and dusk, then you must respect that. Muslim Family Life. One of the biggest foundations of Muslim life is the family. In the Quran, traditional marriage is commonly discussed. This has the woman in the marriage caring for the home and the man as the breadwinner. This does not mean that you and your Muslim partner must strictly abide by these traditions if you both agree to something different. For example, both of you might share the breadwinner and caretaker’s role, which is perfectly fine. Muslim families are often very close, so when you are dating a Muslim man or dating a Muslim woman, you will typically spend a lot of time with their family. There is a chance that you might not be immediately accepted if you do not follow the Islamic religion. However, the Quran wants to see a bond of “affection and mercy” and “tranquility” between a wife and her husband. Because of this, as you continue to date, if your relationship is strong, you are likely to be accepted into the family, so be patient. Expectations of Parents. Traditionally, Muslim parents are expected to raise their children as Muslims, be kind to them and provide for them. When a baby is born, it is common for Muslim parents to whisper a profession of faith into their ear, referred to as the Shahada. In the western world, whether parents are expected to raise their children as Muslim varies. Some families are okay with the child learning about both parents’ religious beliefs if one parent is not Muslim. When you are dating a Muslim woman or dating a Muslim man, this is a conversation you will need to have early on. If you do not wish to convert to Islam, you and your partner must agree regarding religion in your home. Expectations of Children. Muslim children’s expectations regarding the Quran are not much different from what anyone would expect from their children. Children are expected to respect their parents and be dutiful. It also commands gratitude for what their parents do for them. Muslim Marriage and Divorce. Islam recommends that partners marry. pared to the west, most of the fundamentals of marriage are the same. The one difference is that polygamy is allowed, and men can marry four women. However, it is rare to see Muslims practicing polygamy in western countries. Divorce is allowed, and Islam recognizes that it can sometimes be necessary. Traditionally, the couple is asked to use a waiting period to ensure the wife is not pregnant before filing for a divorce. Dating a Muslim Woman. When you are dating a Muslim woman, there are a few facts to know. Muslim women prefer direct men. If you like her, you should show her. Flirting and using tongue-in-cheek humor goes a long way when trying to get a Muslim woman’s attention. If she likes you, she will not be shy about spending time alone with you. While subtler than flirting, it gets the point across that she is interested. How to Date a Muslim Girl. Muslim women may be more traditional compared to other women. For example, they may be more likely to follow traditional gender roles. Because of this, you should practice chivalry when you are out with a Muslim woman. Women want to make their men happy when it comes to intimacy. However, if you are dating a very traditional Muslim woman, there is a chance that she will not engage in sex before you two are married. If you are seeking a long-term relationship with her, this must be respected. Please do your research on her country of origin because some countries are more relaxed regarding Islam and its practices than others. Be respectful of her time if she engages in prayer five times per day. During Ramadan, do not ask for a date, as this can appear disrespectful. Remember that Muslim people do not eat pork or drink alcohol. Know that many Muslim women date to find a partner for marriage, so casual dating is often not appealing to them. Respect their privacy and decisions with regards to their lives and their families Don’t force them to indulge in sexual activities, whether physical or oral. Dating a Muslim Man. Before getting started with dating a Muslim man, there are a few things you should know. Muslim men can be very traditional, so expect chivalry when you are dating. He does not hold doors and drive because he thinks you are not capable, but he respects you. What to Expect When Dating a Muslim Man?

Know what you want when you start dating. Muslim men are traditional, but they do respect women who think for themselves. Do not be afraid to disagree or engage in lighthearted debate to learn from each other. If he is very traditional, he may not engage in sex before marriage. However, if his view of his religion is more casual, he may. Once you have been dating for a little while, this is a topic you will have to discuss to ensure you both are on the same page. Muslim men are typically not as slow when it comes to getting engaged. If you are serious about your relationship and want to take the next step, talk about it. You will not likely date for several years before he pops the question if he wants to marry you. Be respectful of his time if he engages in prayer five times per day. During Ramadan, do not ask for a date, as this can appear disrespectful. Remember that Muslim people do not eat pork or drink alcohol. He will not expect you to convert to Islam while you are dating, but it is important to learn about his religion. Learn to see his way of living and ask for what he expects of you Do not force them to marry you if they aren’t ready to Asking for irrational gifts and expecting him to spend on your also isn’t appreciated; one should refrain from that Don’t make him do your chores Respect his privacy and make sure you don’t interfere in his personal decisions Let him have his time with family and don’t breathe down his neck. Sex and Intimacy. When you start with Muslim dating, sex and intimacy is a topic you want to discuss. When you are dating a Muslim woman or dating a Muslim man, they may believe in no sex before marriage. However, those who have grown up in the western world may not be as strict with this. The man reads a prayer before he and his partner engage in intercourse. This is to protect any child who the act may conceive. Before sex, an ablution should be done for the man. Across his head and face, moistened hands should be passed. This is a type of sacred cleansing. After sex, both partners must use water to rinse their genitals. After sex, the man should lie in bed instead of getting up right away. Islam does not expressively forbid any specific positions. Still, oral and anal sex are prohibited since they do not contribute to conceiving a child. The days preferred to have sex include nights of Shaitan, Friday afternoons, and Friday nights. Sex Before Marriage Islam. Sex before marriage in Islam is strictly forbidden. In Islam, men and women are advised to dress modestly to refrain from committing fornication or adultery. Sex is said to be a gift from Allah and should only be between a man and a married woman. Most Muslim families are known for arranged marriages. This involves the families finding a suitable match for their boy or the girl based on compatibility. This way, lustful feelings can be avoided and ensure adultery is never committed. Islam is obvious on sex before marriage. It is an offense punishable by death, and one who commits it will rot in hellfire and face Allah’s wrath. Muslim Stereotypes. When it comes to Muslim dating, you must know what the stereotypes are to get past them. If you believe any of these stereotypes, it can greatly interfere with your relationship. Terrorism and Islam. Unfortunately, some people equate Islam with terrorism. Yes, some terrorists practice Islam, but you cannot generalize an entire race of people by this. Muslims Dislike Christians and Jews. This is an unfortunately common stereotype that is just not true. When you are getting into Muslim dating, you must know that this is a myth. If you are Jewish or a Christian, you can date Muslim people without a problem. Muslim People Do Not Believe in God or Jesus. This is not true. God is who they believe in, but he is referred to as “Allah.” In Arabic, “Allah” translates to “God.” As for Jesus, the Quran actually mentions him more than Muhammad, but in the Quran, Jesus is not the son of God, but he is instead a prophet. Muslim Superstitions. When it comes to Muslim dating, you must understand some of the superstitions associated with the culture. These are often related to someone’s country of origin and not just a general Muslim superstition. The Evil Eye is something that many Muslims believe in Snakeskins may be burned to chase off evil spirits in a home. Some Muslim teachers will not grade students’ work using a red pen since this ink color symbolizes blood. Fortune telling may bring evil; however, some Muslim people may engage in fortune-telling without feeling the risk of evil in Turkey. An eclipse shows Allah’s power, so many Muslim people will not be outside during one, especially Muslim people from Egypt. Certain groups of Muslim people worldwide believe that specific amulets and charms hold magic forces and special powers. Dreams may convey the messages of devils and spirits. Since the person’s country of origin largely determines the superstitions they may believe, you should get to know their background. This will help you to narrow down the superstitions you might see as you continue dating Muslim people. Conclusion. With this comprehensive guide to Muslim dating, you will find it easier to get started dating people from this culture. Knowing the facts ensures that you can truly appreciate Muslim people. Just remember that when you are dating a Muslim man or dating a Muslim woman that while there are cultural things to respect, you must also remember that they are individuals too. If you haven’t already, please check out our list of best Muslim dating sites so you can make the best decision. If we missed anything, please comment below. Good luck! Find Your Ideal Muslim Wife among Pakistani Women. The official language of Pakistan is Urdu, which script is based on Arabic. Other Oriental languages such as Hindi, Punjabi, Pashto, Pact, and Farsi are also widely used in everyday life. Pakistan means “a pure land” in Urdu. Pakistani women who live in cities and have a good education usually speak English quite well. Why Are Pakistani Mail Order Brides so Popular? Young Pakistan women are in no way inferior in their primary qualities to representatives of other countries. These females are ready to fight for the well-being of their loved ones and their homeland. A lot of women are serving in the Pakistani army, although they are forbidden to be directly involved in military hostilities. Physical Beauty. Many beautiful women live in Pakistan. Some of them became movie stars and gained love and recognition from the public. The standard of their beauty is light skin with a cream tint, long black hair, and eyes of bright colors. A healthy appearance, rounded shapes, and large breasts are in the priority since this is needed for a young woman to become an excellent mother of future children. Graceful and smooth gait also increases the rating of Pakistani ladies. Nonetheless, women in Pakistan are not allowed to flaunt their beauty. Only a husband has the right to admire all the charms of his wife. However, many contemporary Pakistani women are accustomed to western standards in dressing outside their homeland, especially in India, Great Britain, and other countries. Pakistani Women Are Modest. One of the main requirements for the behavior of any Pakistani girl is her modesty. Muslim women are not allowed to stare into somebody’s eyes for a long time, especially the man’s ones. It is perceived as insolent and even lascivious behavior to some extent. If a woman looks at an outsider like that, she might be flirting with him and, therefore, trying to seduce him. It is considered a sin and unacceptable behavior for her. If it is quite natural for a Western woman to assert herself pursuing a career, striving to stand out, and gaining recognition in different spheres of life, all this is an indecent behavior for Muslim women. They should be confined to accomplishing household works and playing the role of obedient wives and caring mothers. Religiosity and Social Status. On the one hand, Pakistan is distinguished by a more secular society than other countries of the Islamic world. Pakistan women have more extensive access to public life, education, and even political positions. On the other hand, the status of a woman is determined by the strict traditions and values of Islam. Typically, only women from wealthy families can study and work. Other Pakistani women live in a limited and oppressive world. In most cases, women do not have the right to choose whom to marry. They can marry for love in only three cases — when a girl marries a foreigner when a man brings his wife from abroad, and when local young people loving each other can convince their parents to marry them. Purity and Morality. A Muslim woman cannot allow herself to wear dirty and messy clothes, because Allah bequeathed to observe the body purity. A Pakistani woman will never go out of her home dressed inappropriately. She cannot show her arms, legs, a neckline, and naked back. According to the norms of Islam, body must be wholly covered not to cause the darkest desires of strangers and not to humiliate the dignity of the woman. By the Quran, Pakistani women are forbidden to drink alcohol. Even a traditional dress, hijab, should not be flashy, too bright, embroidered with pearls, etc. It is perceived as a sign of immorality and aspiration to luxury. A particular requirement for Pakistan women is respect for purity in all senses. A true Muslim woman strictly adheres to the rules of chastity, modesty, and godly fear. She must control not only her behavior but also thoughts. In Islam, impure thoughts and intentions are as a severe sin as evil actions. A woman cannot listen to obscene talks, thereby risking defiling her hearing and thoughts. Respect to Family Traditions. Pakistani girls are brought up in large families according to Sharia law. The eldest man, whether it is a father, grandfather, or paternal uncle, is the head of the family and makes all decisions regarding the family and its members. It is believed that a man is closer to perfection than a woman. Traditionally, the position of Pakistani women in society and families is secondary. A faithful Muslim woman will not sit at the same table with her husband and his friends. Women have their meals on the female side of the house. Among Muslims, parents enjoy tremendous and limitless respect. Family members are consulted with the oldest man on every issue that affects family interests. His opinion is considered on an equal footing with such respected people as mullahs or cadi. Older people, both men and women, often live with their children and enjoy unquestioned authority. All essential events in the family life are necessarily celebrated within the family, and the elders determine the correspondence of the festive etiquette to the traditions. Why Are Pakistani Mail Order Brides Looking for A Foreign Husband?

People who live in the 21st century have a right to choose the language they speak, the clothes they wear, and the God they believe in or not. In Pakistani, the situation with freedoms may slightly differ, because Islam is the first religion in this country. Parents and husbands make these girls obey strict rules. So, according to Pakistani girls’ opinion, finding a husband from another country is the only chance to free themselves from the burden of rules and taboos and take a deep breath. Traditions in this country presuppose that a woman obeys her husband in everything and can’t contradict him even if her opinion is strikingly different. If you’re a single man who’s looking for the ideal wife, consider meeting Pakistani girl and help her start a new life. She’ll respect you and listen to your views, hoping that you’ll help the lady forget about her previous experience and will love and appreciate her the way she deserves. Pakistani women aren’t the kind of girls whose primary value is the endless parties with friends and short-term relationships. Pakistani brides dream of creating a healthy family and hope that foreign husbands will share their desires and implement them in life. What Are Pakistani Brides Like? Pakistani girls prepare to become brides, wives, and mothers from early childhood. Marriages in Pakistan are usually arranged within the same community or clan. A Muslim woman must be a virgin on her wedding day. Otherwise, she has to expect a terrible shame with the most tragic consequences. According to the Quran, such a woman should be stoned to death. On the eve of the wedding, the asian bride is coated with henna and aromatic oils. It is done for good luck and abundant family life. A wedding is a big celebration in Pakistan. Rarely less than one thousand people are present at the wedding. Beautiful Pakistani brides usually dress up in colorful saris. Traditionally, they can be yellow, orange, green, or red. There should also be many bracelets and hairpins made of fresh flowers in their hair. Pakistani brides rarely wear ready-made outfits. Wedding dresses are sewn manually from purchased fabrics. During the wedding day, the bride stands or sits modestly with eyes downcast. After the wedding, she leaves the parental home and moves to her husband's house. Young Muslim women can hardly marry a man of a different faith. This inadmissibility is explained by the fact that the man has a superior position in the family. If the husband is not Muslim, his wife will gradually have to abandon her religious principles and values. Pakistani women break dating taboos on Tinder. Casual dating for women is often frowned upon in Pakistan's male-dominated society. However, dating apps such as Tinder are challenging norms and allowing women to take more control over their sexuality. Faiqa is a 32-year-old entrepreneur in Islamabad, and, like many young single women around the world, she uses dating apps to connect with men. Faiqa has been using the dating app Tinder for two years, and she said although the experience has been "liberating," many Pakistani men are not used to the idea of women taking control of their sexuality and dating lives. Pakistani women are often expected to preserve a family's "honor." "I've met some men on Tinder who describe themselves as 'open minded feminists,' yet still ask me: 'Why is a decent and educated girl like you on a dating app?'" Faiqa told DW. India leads South Asia's online dating market, and Pakistan is slowly catching on. A study by the Indonesian Journal of Communication Studies found that most of Pakistan's Tinder users come from major cities including Islamabad, Lahore and Karachi and are usually between 18 and 40 years old. Other dating apps are also growing in popularity. MuzMatch caters exclusively to Muslims looking for a date. Bumble, despite being relatively new to the online dating market, is a favorite among many Pakistani feminists, as women initiate the first conversation. "There are fewer men on Bumble, therefore it somehow feels safer to use. Tinder is well-known and someone you know could see you, making it uncomfortable," said Nimra, a student from Lahore. Share. Pakistan: Teaching gender equality in a patriarchal society. How a Pakistani woman is teaching gender equality in a patriarchal society. "With a dating app, a woman can choose if she wants a discreet one night stand, a fling, a long-term relationship etc. It is hard for women to do this openly in our culture, which is why dating apps give them an opportunity they won't find elsewhere," said Nabiha Meher Shaikh, a feminist activist from Lahore. However, not all female Tinder users are as open as Sophia. Most Tinder profiles of Pakistani women do not disclose their full identity, with photographs showing only cropped faces, close-up shots of hands or feet, faces covered with hair or only painted fingernails. "If we put up our real names or photographs, most men tend to stalk us. If we don't respond, they find us on social media and send weird messages," said 25-year-old Alishba from Lahore. She also pointed out dating double standards, explaining that married men on Tinder often use their "broken" marriage as an excuse to date other women. Fariha, a 28-year old blogger, used Tinder for one year. "I always chose to meet men in public places until I felt safe. But one guy kept inviting me to his place. Men often assume that women will engage sexually if they keep asking," she told DW. The introduction of dating apps in Pakistan has also challenged taboos sparked debates over women's sexuality, consent and safe sex. For some, the rising popularity of dating apps reveals the extent of the state's control over women's bodies and people's personal choices. Secretary General Ameer ul Azeem of the Islamic party Jamaat-e-Islami told DW that "the girls and boys using these apps meet up secretly because they also have a realization that it's wrong." "In the West, strict laws protect women from harassment. Women can't be protected during such secretive meetings in Pakistan if there is harassment, because these laws are absent." Zarish, a Lahore-based artist, told DW women should "no longer be controlled by shaming and labeling." She said Pakistan has much "bigger issues" that are in need of urgent attention and therefore should stop obsessing over "what regular people do in their private lives." Pakistani women break dating taboos on Tinder. Casual dating for women is often frowned upon in Pakistan's male-dominated society. However, dating apps such as Tinder are challenging norms and allowing women to take more control over their sexuality. Faiqa is a 32-year-old entrepreneur in Islamabad, and, like many young single women around the world, she uses dating apps to connect with men. Faiqa has been using the dating app Tinder for two years, and she said although the experience has been "liberating," many Pakistani men are not used to the idea of women taking control of their sexuality and dating lives. Pakistani women are often expected to preserve a family's "honor." "I've met some men on Tinder who describe themselves as 'open minded feminists,' yet still ask me: 'Why is a decent and educated girl like you on a dating app?'" Faiqa told DW. India leads South Asia's online dating market, and Pakistan is slowly catching on. A study by the Indonesian Journal of Communication Studies found that most of Pakistan's Tinder users come from major cities including Islamabad, Lahore and Karachi and are usually between 18 and 40 years old. Other dating apps are also growing in popularity. MuzMatch caters exclusively to Muslims looking for a date. Bumble, despite being relatively new to the online dating market, is a favorite among many Pakistani feminists, as women initiate the first conversation. "There are fewer men on Bumble, therefore it somehow feels safer to use. Tinder is well-known and someone you know could see you, making it uncomfortable," said Nimra, a student from Lahore. Share. Pakistan: Teaching gender equality in a patriarchal society. How a Pakistani woman is teaching gender equality in a patriarchal society. "With a dating app, a woman can choose if she wants a discreet one night stand, a fling, a long-term relationship etc. It is hard for women to do this openly in our culture, which is why dating apps give them an opportunity they won't find elsewhere," said Nabiha Meher Shaikh, a feminist activist from Lahore. However, not all female Tinder users are as open as Sophia. Most Tinder profiles of Pakistani women do not disclose their full identity, with photographs showing only cropped faces, close-up shots of hands or feet, faces covered with hair or only painted fingernails. "If we put up our real names or photographs, most men tend to stalk us. If we don't respond, they find us on social media and send weird messages," said 25-year-old Alishba from Lahore. She also pointed out dating double standards, explaining that married men on Tinder often use their "broken" marriage as an excuse to date other women. Fariha, a 28-year old blogger, used Tinder for one year. "I always chose to meet men in public places until I felt safe. But one guy kept inviting me to his place. Men often assume that women will engage sexually if they keep asking," she told DW. The introduction of dating apps in Pakistan has also challenged taboos sparked debates over women's sexuality, consent and safe sex. For some, the rising popularity of dating apps reveals the extent of the state's control over women's bodies and people's personal choices. Secretary General Ameer ul Azeem of the Islamic party Jamaat-e-Islami told DW that "the girls and boys using these apps meet up secretly because they also have a realization that it's wrong." "In the West, strict laws protect women from harassment. Women can't be protected during such secretive meetings in Pakistan if there is harassment, because these laws are absent." Zarish, a Lahore-based artist, told DW women should "no longer be controlled by shaming and labeling." She said Pakistan has much "bigger issues" that are in need of urgent attention and therefore should stop obsessing over "what regular people do in their private lives." Seekers Elite. Is dating in Islam Haram or Halal?

What are the rules to have a halal relationship? If you want answers to these questions, you’ll love this post. Islam was sent for the whole of humanity and thus addresses all matters under all situations at any time in considerable detail, (Thanks to Allah for his unique excellence). As an Islamic blogger, I normally stumble on questions relating to dating and friendship between males and females, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, physical intimacy, and a whole lot of related questions. I am glad you’re looking for Quran and Hadith guidance to these doubts rather than figuring out the whole dating thing all by yourself or depending on what the world tells you to do (Quran 7:52). In this blog post, you’ll find out how Allah and His Messenger want you to deal with relationships with others of the opposite gender. So that seekers may understand the topic well (By Allah’s Permission), I will cover this issue under different questions relating to different aspects and then go through the answers to get things clarified (Insha-Allah). But wait, if you have a personal and specific question about relationships and situations in your life, don’t hesitate to send me your questions through the contact page, or just comment it below if you don’t mine. Be sure to read what is here though; your question may have already been answered (Insha-Allah). Am I ready to start dating or courting?

To avoid the temptation of Zina (Fornication), Islam encourages marriage at a young age. Therefore, it is completely normal to start a relationship at the age of puberty, however, it is not compulsory. Thus, reaching the age of puberty should not be considered as the only criterion for deciding the right age to start a relationship. There are other important factors such as the overall maturity of a person plus his or her ability to anticipate what is good or bad, such that his or her ability to personal agreement and disagreements in important decisions of life becomes valid. “Oh youths, whosoever among you can marry, he should do so because marriage protects your eyes (from indulging in sin by looking lustfully at others in privacy). Always remember that you are never too young to begin this exciting process as long as you can bear the responsibility involved. Are Muslims allowed to date at all? In fact, prior to publishing this article, I have also spent a reasonable amount of time racking my brain trying to figure this one out for myself. Is it to take away some of the personal loneliness?

(Very Common) Is it to get you to be seen by your peers as someone who is modern and cool? Is it to get you out of restrictions imposed on you by religion and culture that you didn’t choose for yourself? Is it to make you feel not left out if many others around you are doing the same thing? Is it to make you feel better about yourself knowing someone ‘really’ likes you?

Or maybe do you think it’s obviously fun? If it happens your reason to date a girl or boy falls within these cheap desires, then am afraid, Islam can’t tolerate it and you really deserve the BIG NO answer. All these intentions have been conditioned into our minds against our will through the influences of societies outside the Muslim society. If you want a yes answer to this question then you have to change your intentions because our actions are judged by our intentions. Why should Muslims Date?

This particular commentary will not only answer why Muslims should date but will also answer all those who wonder how they can get married without dating. And yes! I wanted to tell you earlier, but I decided to wait until now. To tell you the real meaning of dating and why Islam prefers the word courtship but not dating. Most of the time, this is the reason why scholars say no to dating in Islam because they knew what it means and the dangers that come hand in hand with it that Islam is protecting us from. Others may call it dating, but we Muslims prefer the word “courting” because, while a date by definition usually contains “ New encounters”, “Good times” and “Sex”(the worse thing), courtship has different priorities altogether. To make it simple for my readers, courtship prepares you for marriage but dating doesn’t and the reason is simple: when two people say they are dating, they have no marriage intention now order than to fulfill each other’s cheap desires which is a sin in Islam. This is my question for them. Can you make a guarantee about the future?

Even if it is a little chance of events that can lead to Zina, would you be honest with yourself to say it would never happen?

We all know that it’s only Allah who knows the future; that is why we don’t take risks in our life. Our ears and eyes are limited so is our knowledge which gives a very convincing reason why we can’t be certain about the future. It is sometimes very easy to say certain things while we are at peace and full of content. The real test comes when the situation unfolds itself. So my dear Muslim brothers and sisters, let us shrink away from the dating thing in praise of courtship because that’s how we can become safe from its temptations. Let’s embrace dating for marriage and do away from dating for fun, but how can we do that, what are the steps one can follow in the courting process. This brings us to the next point. How should Muslims Date/Court in Islam? Exploring the principles for halal dating from Sunnah of our Beloved Prophet will set men and women on a course towards Islamic centered Marriages. We are in the era, we already found ourselves in this dark journey in the time of darkness. We only need the best guidance that ever existed in the history of mankind, that’s the Sunnah of our Beloved, Prophet Mohammed (SAW). Explaining the guidelines for dating for the righteous Muslims will alter lives keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships that Islam forbid. Most importantly, these principles and guidelines will transform many lives of our Muslim youth as dating is one of the common weapons Satan uses to encourage Zina, which is one of the major sins in Islam that easily lure people away from the mercy of Allah. Let me make it so clear that these principles and guidelines need more attention and research which I am yet to look into. For this reason, I will briefly state some points here and then develop them later in a completely new article on its own. That’s dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse, in order to avoid many relationships before getting married and to avoid the temptation of sin. It simply means that the man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not permissible for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman, because Islam is now the only true religion and all other religions in our time are false. Dating or courting (or whatever you wish to call it) can be a wonderful way to solidify an already super strong friendship if your parents have given the go-ahead or blessings. Allah is at the center that’s why you are both ready to step it up though. If you want to make it a long-lasting and God-honoring union with your best friend, then that is when you know it’s time to come out bold (marry) and start a romance. Allah loves us and He does not want our downfall in life. He may not give us what we seek because He knows the negative and positive results of our truest desire.

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